le sigh

day 4 and i'm already ready to give up writing everyday. unfortunate because there are many things worth thinking about more today. i guess, i will fall into my weakness and list them...

01. went to rubenstein and looked at some of kal's political cartoons. artist's statment said that cartoons were able to prick through the pomposity of the situation. never heard it expressed better than that. anyway, they were fun to look at, especially the ones that were done after 9/11, to see how he crept along that line of people's feelings and harshness towards the government and patriotism...hmm, skill.

02. i feel like i was a bad small group leader this year. this is probably why i was so hesitant to take on that role again next year. i usually rush into leadership roles thinking that i will be able to give enough...but i feel like small group leader demands a more of you besides fulfilling commitments because as far as commitments go, yes, i can meet them, but excelling in relationships and being there for someone at those random times, well that is something that i somewhat lack.

03. i have a new commitment to my female friendships. this may come at a cost to some of my male friendships. everything always comes at a cost. uncomfortable to think about.

04. writing is exciting if done correctly. i guess i had forgotten about that until i edited michael's paper tonight. it makes me really want to devote more to my writing...this blog entry is not a good example of that...i guess i had forgotten the art behind writing and just focused on the brute communication of ideas. but no, there is smething about bringing a fresh perspective to stale experiences and sources by juxtaposing and building arguments. woweee, but sooo difficult.

05. i just realized that i did no work today. but then i just realized that i dont actually do work on many days here. i need to be a better student. i need to be a worse...?